“Mr Vale is transferring to your unit today for urgent assessment of abdominal pain and repeated vomiting.” That opening tells the receiving team what to do before it lists what the emergency department has already done.
Original practice material written by OETify. All people, services and records in this sample are fictional, for writing practice only. By the OETify editorial team.
The receiving unit’s immediate work
Arun’s transfer has been accepted, but his assessment is still in progress.
| Area | Fictional emergency department notes |
|---|---|
| Patient | Arun Vale, aged 42; attended Brook Emergency Department with abdominal pain and repeated vomiting |
| Current report | Arun says his pain has increased since arrival and he continues to feel nauseated |
| Current observation | Nurse observed a further episode of vomiting during the latest review |
| Medical decision | Emergency doctor requests urgent assessment at Ridge Acute Assessment Unit; receiving medical team has accepted transfer today |
| Completed care | Prescribed treatment given; administration record accompanies him; no diagnosis confirmed in these notes |
| Blood specimen | Sent to laboratory; result not yet available; emergency doctor has asked the receiving medical team to review it when available |
| During transfer | Accompanying nursing plan directs staff to continue observations and report changes to the receiving medical team |
| Documents | Assessment record, observation chart and treatment administration record accompany the transfer |
| Background | Arun’s partner brought him to the emergency department; Arun previously worked at the same hospital |
The urgent transfer assignment
You are a nurse in Brook Emergency Department. Today is 9 October 2026. Write to Ms Linda Shaw, Nurse in Charge, Ridge Acute Assessment Unit, 12 Ridge Road, Brookfield. Explain the urgent transfer, current symptoms and outstanding result. Report the nursing plan’s instructions for care during transfer. Include the emergency doctor’s request for the receiving medical team to review the result.
Decide what “accepted transfer” tells the recipient and what it leaves unfinished. Choose whether Arun’s hospital employment explains any requested action.
Model letter with an outstanding result
Model letter
Ms Linda Shaw
Nurse in Charge
Ridge Acute Assessment Unit
12 Ridge Road
Brookfield9 October 2026
Dear Ms Shaw,
Re: Arun Vale, aged 42
Mr Vale is transferring to your unit today for urgent assessment of abdominal pain and repeated vomiting. Your medical team has already accepted the transfer. His assessment is in progress, and one blood test result is outstanding.
Since arriving at Brook Emergency Department, Mr Vale reports that his pain has increased and that he continues to feel nauseated. At the latest nursing review, he had a further episode of vomiting. The emergency doctor has requested urgent assessment; no diagnosis is confirmed in the accompanying notes.
Prescribed treatment has been given in the emergency department, and the treatment administration record accompanies him. A blood specimen has been sent to the laboratory, but the result is not yet available. The emergency doctor has asked your medical team to review the result when it becomes available.
His assessment record and observation chart also accompany this letter for your team’s reference. During transfer, the accompanying nursing plan directs staff to continue observations and to report any changes to your medical team.
If you need any further information, please contact the nursing team at Brook Emergency Department.
Yours sincerely,
Kavya Menon
Registered Nurse, Brook Emergency Department
Annotation of the opening and unfinished work
These notes apply OET’s Writing assessment criteria.
| Criterion | What the model does |
|---|---|
| Purpose | The opening names today’s urgent assessment and the accepted transfer. |
| Content | Keeps the specimen’s status and names the team asked to review it. The observation plan applies during transfer; the notes give no observation instruction after arrival. |
| Conciseness and Clarity | Arun’s former employment is left out because it explains neither the assessment nor ongoing care. His partner needs no sentence: the task gives the partner no contact or support action. |
| Genre and Style | Stays within the record: symptoms, observations and the doctor’s request. No diagnosis is added to explain the urgency. |
| Organisation and Layout | Current symptoms come before treatment records and the pending result. |
| Language | “Has been sent” records a completed action; “not yet available” marks unfinished work. “During transfer” keeps the timing of the nursing plan, and “your medical team” names who reviews the result. |
A completed-sounding handover and its repair
The weaker letter makes unfinished assessment sound complete. Compare its statement about blood tests with the specimen entry.
Weaker version (do not copy)
Ms Linda Shaw
Nurse in Charge
Ridge Acute Assessment Unit
12 Ridge Road
Brookfield9 October 2026
Dear Ms Shaw,
Re: Arun Vale, aged 42
Mr Vale attended Brook Emergency Department with abdominal pain and vomiting. His partner brought him in, and he previously worked at the hospital. Prescribed treatment and blood tests have been completed.
He reports increased pain and nausea and vomited during the latest nursing review. Your medical team has accepted him for further assessment today. Please continue care and check his blood results.
The assessment record, observation chart, administration record and nursing plan accompany him.
Yours sincerely,
Kavya Menon
Registered Nurse, Brook Emergency Department
Replace “blood tests have been completed” with the specimen status and outstanding result. Restore the emergency doctor’s request for the receiving medical team to review the result when available. Report the nursing plan’s observation and reporting actions as applying during transfer. Move today’s urgent assessment to the opening, then remove the employment and arrival details.
Draft your opening without “further assessment”. Name the urgent assessment and the medical team’s pending-result review. Keep the observation plan limited to care during transfer.