Theo Lane’s admission, discharge review and telephone agreement describe different moments. Keep their timing visible when handing over to the community nurse.
Original practice material written by OETify. All people, services and records in this sample are fictional, for writing practice only. By the OETify editorial team.
The record in time order
| When | Fictional case record |
|---|---|
| Admission to Juniper Mental Health Unit | Theo Lane, aged 34, admitted after worsening mood and thoughts of self-harm |
| Yesterday’s nursing discussion | Theo described poor sleep and low motivation; nurse observed that he participated in the discussion |
| This morning’s discharge review | Theo reported no current intent to harm himself; treatment team completed the review and agreed discharge home today |
| Discharge discussion | Written safety plan and crisis-team details supplied; the plan directs Theo to contact that team if thoughts of self-harm return |
| Agreement for initial follow-up | Theo agrees to a community nurse’s telephone call after arriving home; no call time set yet |
| Proposed continuing contact | Theo would prefer afternoon calls; future frequency and times remain to be agreed with the community nurse |
| Arrangement | Further fictional notes |
|---|---|
| Documents | Current treatment summary and medication list accompany the handover; no treatment change requested |
| Family | Lives alone; sister can telephone in the evenings but cannot visit; Theo consents to her involvement |
| Travel concern | Theo worries about answering while travelling home and requests the initial call after arrival |
| Receiving nurse’s task | Confirm initial contact time; review mood, sleep and safety-plan use; agree ongoing contact arrangements |
Task for the community mental health nurse
You are a nurse at Juniper Mental Health Unit. Today is 9 October 2026. Write to Mr Samuel Brooks, Community Mental Health Nurse, Fern Community Service, 41 Fern Avenue, Juniper Vale. Request the recorded follow-up for Theo’s discharge today.
In your draft, distinguish what Theo reported, what the nurse observed and what both sides agreed. Decide where the afternoon preference belongs when no continuing schedule has been agreed.
Model handover with timing and source intact
Model letter
Mr Samuel Brooks
Community Mental Health Nurse
Fern Community Service
41 Fern Avenue
Juniper Vale9 October 2026
Dear Mr Brooks,
Re: Theo Lane, aged 34
Mr Lane is being discharged home today from Juniper Mental Health Unit, and his follow-up care is now being handed over to you. Please confirm a time for his agreed initial telephone call after he arrives home. During follow-up, please review his mood, sleep and use of his written safety plan.
Mr Lane was admitted after worsening mood and thoughts of self-harm. Yesterday, he described poor sleep and low motivation, and he participated in the nursing discussion. At this morning’s discharge review, he reported no current intent to harm himself. The treatment team completed the review and agreed discharge today.
Mr Lane received a written safety plan and crisis-team contact details. The plan directs him to contact that team if thoughts of self-harm return. His treatment summary and medication list accompany this letter; no treatment change is requested.
He worries about answering calls while travelling home and has asked to be contacted after he arrives. For continuing follow-up, he prefers afternoon calls, but the frequency and times remain to be agreed with you. He lives alone and consents to his sister’s involvement; she can telephone in the evenings but cannot visit.
Yours sincerely,
Liza Cruz
Registered Nurse, Juniper Mental Health Unit
Trace the handover back to each event
These notes apply OET’s Writing assessment criteria.
| Letter decision | Criterion and reason |
|---|---|
| Confirm a time for the initial call | Purpose: separates the agreed type of contact from the practical detail still requiring agreement. |
| Admission, yesterday’s discussion and this morning’s report retain their order | Content: the latest report does not erase the earlier thoughts or move yesterday’s symptoms into today’s review. |
| Symptoms and participation share a sentence | Conciseness and Clarity: combines the same discussion’s evidence while keeping the separate discharge review visible. |
| “Described”, “participated” and “reported” | Genre and Style: records speech and observed participation without inferring attitude or future safety. |
| Review history, safety plan and contact arrangements occupy separate paragraphs | Organisation and Layout: the nurse can retrieve the assessment account and the contact work separately. |
| “Prefers” and “remain to be agreed” | Language: a preference for afternoons does not become an established timetable. |
The telephone agreement permits initial contact after arrival. It does not settle the call time or establish an afternoon schedule for later reviews. The model gives the nurse those outstanding decisions without proposing new clinical care.
A compressed handover that loses the sequence
Weaker version (do not copy)
Mr Samuel Brooks
Community Mental Health Nurse
Fern Community Service
41 Fern Avenue
Juniper Vale9 October 2026
Dear Mr Brooks,
Re: Theo Lane, aged 34
Mr Lane is being discharged today after worsening mood and thoughts of self-harm. At review he reported no current intent, poor sleep and low motivation, and participated in discussion. Please follow him up by telephone in the afternoons after he arrives home.
A safety plan and crisis-team details have been supplied for thoughts of self-harm. His treatment summary and medication list accompany this letter. He lives alone and has consented to his sister’s evening telephone support; she cannot visit.
Please review his mood, sleep and safety-plan use during the arranged calls. No treatment change is requested.
Yours sincerely,
Liza Cruz
Registered Nurse, Juniper Mental Health Unit
| Compression | Note to restore | Repair |
|---|---|---|
| “At review” combines separate events | Yesterday’s discussion and this morning’s review | Put yesterday’s symptoms and observed participation before this morning’s reported intent. |
| “in the afternoons after he arrives home” merges preference and agreement | Initial call after arrival; future afternoons preferred | Request confirmation of the initial time, then agreement on continuing contact. |
| “for thoughts of self-harm” obscures the plan’s instruction | Contact the crisis team if those thoughts return | State the plan’s action and condition together. |
| “the arranged calls” presents an ongoing schedule as settled | Frequency and times remain open | Name those outstanding arrangements instead of assuming they exist. |
Revise the compressed review sentence first. A reader should be able to place each report or observation beside the correct event in the timeline.