Mina Cole reports nipple soreness; baby Ada became sleepy during the observed feed. Those details belong to different people and need separate subjects in the letter.
Original practice material written by OETify. All people, services and records in this sample are fictional, for writing practice only. By the OETify editorial team.
Separate records for Mina and Ada
Mina’s report and Ada’s observed feed provide different information for follow-up.
Mina’s fictional postnatal record
- Mina Cole, aged 29, on Pearl Maternity Ward; baby Ada Cole, aged 2 days, is being discharged home with her today following the treating team’s review.
- Mina reports nipple soreness during feeding and asks for help with positioning.
- At the observed feed, the ward nurse helped Mina adjust her position.
- Mina says the adjusted position felt more comfortable.
- Mina wants to continue the feeding plan agreed with the ward team.
- Written feeding plan supplied; Mina agrees to a community maternity nursing review at home.
Ada’s fictional feeding record
- Ada fed at the breast during the ward nurse’s observed feed.
- Ada became sleepy during that feed; the nurse recorded the observation on the feeding chart.
- No later feeds are described in the notes supplied for this task.
- Feeding chart and discharge summary accompany the handover.
- The agreed plan asks the community nurse to observe a feed and review the chart with Mina.
The postnatal follow-up task
You are a nurse on Pearl Maternity Ward. Today is 9 October 2026. Write to Ms Hannah Doyle, Team Leader, Community Maternity Nursing, Cove Family Service, 8 Harbour Street, Covesby. Request the agreed home review, feeding observation and positioning support using the supplied plan.
Keep Mina’s comfort report separate from Ada’s feeding observation. Decide whether the notes support any statement about Ada’s later feeds.
Model discharge letter with named subjects
Model letter
Ms Hannah Doyle
Team Leader, Community Maternity Nursing
Cove Family Service
8 Harbour Street
Covesby9 October 2026
Dear Ms Doyle,
Re: Mina Cole, aged 29, and baby Ada Cole, aged 2 days
Please arrange the agreed home review for Ms Cole and her baby, Ada, who are being discharged home today from Pearl Maternity Ward following the treating team’s review. Under the accompanying feeding plan, please observe a feed, review the feeding chart with Ms Cole and support her with positioning.
Ms Cole reports nipple soreness during feeding and has asked for help with positioning. During an observed feed on the ward, the nurse helped her to adjust her position. Ms Cole said the adjusted position felt more comfortable. She would like to continue the feeding plan agreed with the ward team.
Ada fed at the breast during that observed feed but became sleepy part way through the feed. This observation is recorded on the accompanying feeding chart. The notes supplied with this letter do not describe any later feeds.
Ms Cole has received a written copy of the feeding plan and has agreed to a home review by your team. Ada’s discharge summary also accompanies this letter.
Thank you for your support with Ms Cole and Ada’s care at home. Please contact Pearl Maternity Ward if you need further information.
Yours sincerely,
Joy Reyes
Registered Nurse, Pearl Maternity Ward
An ambiguous handover and the sentence to repair
The weaker letter combines both records under “she”.
Weaker version (do not copy)
Ms Hannah Doyle
Team Leader, Community Maternity Nursing
Cove Family Service
8 Harbour Street
Covesby9 October 2026
Dear Ms Doyle,
Re: Mina Cole, aged 29, and baby Ada Cole, aged 2 days
Please review Ms Cole and Ada at home after discharge today from Pearl Maternity Ward. Please observe feeding and help with positioning under their agreed plan.
Ms Cole fed Ada with help from the ward nurse. She became sleepy and felt more comfortable after changing position. Feeding is now comfortable, and the chart accompanies this handover.
Ms Cole wants to continue the agreed plan and has received a written copy. The treating team reviewed discharge, and she agreed to a home visit. Ada’s discharge summary accompanies the letter.
Yours sincerely,
Joy Reyes
Registered Nurse, Pearl Maternity Ward
“She became sleepy and felt more comfortable” assigns both experiences to an unclear subject. Ada became sleepy; Mina reported greater comfort after adjusting her position. Write each observation with its subject before shortening the sentences.
“Feeding is now comfortable” also removes the limits of Mina’s report. She described the adjusted position during the observed feed; the notes do not describe subsequent comfort or later feeds. Restore her nipple soreness and specific request for help. The community nurse’s chart review with Mina needs to remain an explicit action.
Annotations for subject, scope and paragraphing
These notes apply OET’s Writing assessment criteria.
| Criterion | What the model does |
|---|---|
| Purpose | Names the home review and expands it into the actions in the feeding plan. |
| Content | Mina’s soreness, her reported comfort and Ada’s sleepiness stay attached to the right person and event. |
| Conciseness and Clarity | Her positioning help and response share a sentence, while the original soreness that explains the request stays. No statement about later feeds is added to make the account sound complete. |
| Genre and Style | Reports and observations are given without judging Mina’s feeding choice. |
| Organisation and Layout | Mina’s experience and Ada’s observation get their own paragraphs, so neither disappears into “feeding difficulties”. |
| Language | Naming Ada at the start of the baby paragraph prevents the pronoun problem shown in the weaker letter. |
In your draft, replace each “she” for a moment with either Mina or Ada. If the sentence cannot take a single name without changing the notes, split it.